Nonviolent Communication and Conflict Managemen

A conflict that I am currently experiencing is a struggle with grades. For the last year and a half, I have had custody of my niece, now 14, and my nephew, soon to be 12. My nephew is currently in the 7th grade, but last year, his first year in middle school, he struggled a bit. It was my belief that he was trying to find his way in a new school setting, with new teachers and more advanced requirements. It was rough at first, but he made it through the school year passing all of his courses with a B average and passing all of his required state required testing as well. This year, he is doing awesome academically, it is still very early on, but I have faith that he will finish strong. My niece on the other hand, is more social and has always struggled academically. Last year she made it out of the eighth grade by the skin of her teeth and even had to retake some of her state required testing to be promoted to the ninth grade. She is now struggling in the ninth grade and though it is still early, I want her to understand the importance of getting good grades in the beginning and keeping them up because it is hard to pull up failing grades. I want to consider the fact that her brother struggled his first year in middle school and this is her first year in high school. The only issue with that is their two very different children with too different drives. She is showing improvement, staying after school, completing extra credit assignments, but I just want her to understand the idea that it is so much easier if you get it right the first time around. I have tried everything from getting her a tutor to grounding her from her cell phone. She is a very sweet, very mannerable child, but I need her to understand how important her education is and push her to value that. Within our conflict, I am always sure to communicate to her how I feel about her grades, I congratulate her on her progress, but I also stress to her that I want her to understand why her grades should be more important to her than they are to me. I am sure to communicate to her that I believe in her and what she is capable of, but this conflict is one that I cannot wait to wave goodbye to.